Definition of Morbid

1. of, relating to, or characteristic of disease (morbid anatomy)
2. affected with or induced by disease (a morbid condition)
3. productive of disease (morbid substances; i.e. substances that produce a disease)
abnormally susceptible to or characterized by gloomy or unwholesome feelings
Grisly, gruesome (morbid details)

“Well, that’s kinda morbid.”

I haven’t actively kept track of the number of times that I’ve had a response along that line when telling people about how my grandparents pre-planned (and pre-paid) for virtually every aspect of their own funerals. I’ve only recently begun trying to challenge it by asking “why is it morbid?”

According to Merriam Webster’s dictionary, there are three definitions, listed above. Certainly, by carefully applying each of these definitions, it can be argued that thinking and planning for our inevitable death is morbid: a morbid condition is often a terminal one and plenty of diseases lead to death; some deaths are certainly gruesome, particularly in cases of accidents; and, death brings about gloomy feelings.

The Grammarist considers virtually anything related to death to be morbid, stating that the adjective “ describes someone who has an abnormally intense interest in unpleasant or gruesome subjects such as suffering, disease and death.” Following this line of thinking, then, anyone who not only recognizes that they are going to die one day, but actually goes so far as to realize that they will be leaving behind a body that will need to be disposed of and makes these arrangements ahead of their death is morbid. And in the strictest application of these definitions, that is absolutely true.

But I think there’s something much deeper going on. It’s a deep, tangled blob that has resulted from the combining of many factors that, to varying degrees, people are only barely aware of. First, culturally, US Americans are collectively driven to a surprising degree by positive psychology. We didn’t pioneer the concept of ‘mind over matter’ but from our founding on, the United States lives and breathes the belief that (as stated by Zig Ziglar) “your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude.”

Additionally, human psychology seems to be naturally primed for magical thinking. Subconsciously, we have a tendency to ascribe causal relationships to things that logically have no influence. As part of a show I recently watched, psychologist Claudia Hammond ran a short demonstration that sums up magical thinking and our fears quite clearly. In it, science students--people you would assume would be the most logical and skeptical of magic-- brought in a photo of a loved one. They were asked to say who the people in photo were, and were asked to describe their relationship with that person (or people). Finally, they were given a knife and cutting board and asked if they would cut the image; that is, would they damage the picture?

Overwhelmingly, the students said they were deeply uncomfortable with the idea of cutting the images of loved ones. But why? One man pinpointed the issue. In his refusal, he specifically outlined that, however irrational or unlikely it was to be happen, he cared too much about the people in the picture to risk the emotional torment of cutting, scratching or stabbing that picture on the off chance that he would find out they had been hurt in some way immediately afterwards. In short, magical thinking left him afraid that his actions might possibly be transferred to the actual people, injuring them.

Finally, many in the United States have noticed that, collectively, we’ve worked ourselves into all-or-nothing holes. US society is increasingly dividing itself up into factions of hard-liners. Ambiguity and nuance are apparently across-the-board unacceptable, no matter what the topic. As such, the parts of all of the definitions listed above that are “squishy” and might modify the application or understanding of ‘morbid’ are completely ignored. Americans no longer want to have to consider what it takes to be “abnormally susceptible” or have an “abnormally intense” fascination. We want nice, clear, bright lines and everything on one side or the other of that line.

Following the combination of these beliefs and cultural norms, putting much, if any, consideration into negative, sad, or unfortunate events has come to be seen as a disease. In short, anything that considers, acknowledges or addresses the inevitable death of each one of us is sick, gruesome: morbid.

Apparently, anything related to thinking about death = morbid.

By not thinking about death, and by labelling virtually any degree of thought as being morbid, it seems that Americans are applying magical thinking to pre-planning funeral arrangements. The belief seems to be that if we plan for our deaths, and the disposal of our bodies, then death becomes inevitable and shortens our lifespan. If we all just ignore it hard enough, maybe we won’t die.

Morbid?                Image CC3.0 by Pschemp — Morbid? Image CC3.0 by Pschemp

Yet death is already inevitable. So, it’s time to challenge what actually is morbid. What is it to be abnormally interested or fascinated with death? I’d argue that the inclusion of the word ‘abnormal’ in the definitions wasn’t meant to indicate what is just “outside of normal” to mainstream culture, but what is outside of being mentally healthy. The sort of abnormal that leads to horrible acts being perpetrated, like the serial killer’s abnormal interest in death and dying.

With that understanding, pre-planning funerals isn’t morbid. Recognizing death isn’t morbid. I feel that nothing about the funeral industry, and the burden funeral plans place on grieving loved ones, will change until we begin to change our ideas surrounding death. And so I’ve begun to challenge the declarations of my grandparents’ morbidity: “How is that morbid?”

Notes:

Except where stated otherwise, all images used are CC0 via Pixabay, and the selected photos were tagged as "morbid" by the poster.

Show link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PLLyc_qimqc (demonstration is about 18:30 from beginning)