This post is a continuation of “Resurrected Writing” begun on November 9th, 2017; starting there may make following the rest of this post easier, if you haven’t already read Part 1 and Part 2.

Indeed, if recent trends are any indication, this process has already begun—the increase in new possibilities for death rituals seems to mark a transition to a more individually meaningful memorialization.  Perhaps the road to dignifying the dead will move away from cramped concrete vaults and rows of headstones to something that better reflects the values of this now aging generation.

For example, what might be more meaningful to some Boomers is a simple return to the earth, where their grave is simply marked, and the surroundings disrupted as little as possible. There are a number of natural burial cemeteries now in the United States specializing in this practice.  These can take the shape of a more family-friendly garden that encourages visits, where instead of a dotted stone landscape, there are open rolling areas where people can picnic, and children play. Stately retaining walls memorialize the dead whose ashes have been scattered, with a smaller, more vertical area dedicated to those faiths who encourage family headstones for yearly religious rituals.  This atmosphere better lends itself to the solemn remembrance of the dead, while not taxing the existing spaces of the living.  By designing cemeteries to be primarily parks, gardens and open public areas, it will be easier for families to add larger volumes of memorials (e.g. benches, dedication trees), while avoiding the stuffy, confining and ultimately less useable feel of traditional cemeteries; few Americans are comfortable with the idea of children running around playing on the headstones in the current environ.

This does not even begin to consider the myriad of options available to those who do not wish be buried.  New advances make the options for the scattering of ashes very different than just setting them adrift on water or burying them in the ground.  Reef memorialization is a pioneering practice of placing one’s ashes in an undersea formation that encourages the growth of coral.  There is also the possibility to have your ashes launched aboard a spacecraft, or turned into gemstones (even diamonds!).  As more Boomers begin to choose meaningful and sustainable memorials, their example will encourage future generations to make similar choices for themselves. Ultimately, the standard American funeral may require less and less space as people pick a more sustainable legacy.

The final hurdle to addressing the cultural norms of the traditional American burial is the often romanticized notion of how much the living enjoy the current setup.  Proponents of this notion describe the peaceful, thoughtful silence and quiet dignity of a cemetery.  Some even go so far as to claim, though I cannot find quantifying numbers, that there is an increase in the number of people exercising (via runs) and letting their children play in cemeteries, indicating just how much Americans value the traditional cemetery design.

To this, I have to question whether these  runners and families are spending their time in a cemetery because it is a cemetery, or  in spite of the fact that it’s a cemetery.  I suspect this is a case of people reclaiming the space as a park, because it is the only green space that they don’t have to travel far to access, not because they particularly enjoy the cemetery itself.  Many cemeteries in places where there are other options—wilderness trails, parks with playgrounds—clearly have fewer casual visitors. If people truly enjoyed the cemetery for outdoor  activities, then the usage of all cemeteries should be similar.  

As to the romanticizing of the modern cemetery, I think the greatest argument against this is the gothic subculture*, or to be more precise, the American standard culture’s disdain and teasing of the very people who truly enjoy tombstones and cemeteries, and spending time in them.  It’s time to more realistically look at how Americans engage in death rituals; culturally, we avoid cemeteries.  Maybe it’s time to break out of this mold.

The current problem of a lack of space in traditional cemeteries could be addressed quite feasibly by both the legal redress of adding requirements to limit the pollution created by burial practices, in a manner similar to crematory practices, and through marketplace preference.  The discussion generated and choices made by the Baby Boom generation could be pivotal in paving a new path for American culture regarding death.  By demonstrating their own desires to see healthy, sustainable and highly individual memorials and funerary practices, the options for the dignifying of the dead could expand, alleviating some of the most pressing space issues, as well as beginning a cultural norm of planning one’s own legacy.

*Note: In my original essay I had linked the Goth subculture to taphophilia, because many Americans probably assume that only Goths are taphophiles, or that all taphophiles are Goths, neither of which is accurate.